Monday, December 13, 2010

Cause it is you and me, we are not alone

You cant really change the past, but you can certainly can shape your future. Instead of saying "I dont have regrets in my life, because all the things that happen to me had made me  today", I would prefer to say "I do have regrets in life, I did made mistakes but from the mistakes I learn and hopefully those events will make be a better person". How can you not have regrets in life? I regret every fight that I had with my mother, dont you? True there is always a blessing in disguise in everything that happen but of course you need to feel regret that the event had to take place in the first place, before you can actually embrace the blessing, no?

I might regret a bit my decision to not stay in the States and work until May 2011 and continue my studies afterwords. To actually came back in September I believe was actually the best decision for me at that moment but in a way that decision sort of disappointed my parents. They did not say it out loud but you just know. I dont like to disappoint my parents, who does. Or is it just a feeling? Or is it I am the one who is disappointed but in denial? But again I will not look back, and focus on the future.

Alhamdullilah, as for now things are starting to fall into places. I am always reminded by my father that what we think is best for us may not actually be the best, and what we think is the worst option for us may not be the worst and therefore to Allah we need to always pray they He will guide us in making a decision. And I have been praying hard lately that Allah will show me the right path.

I'm so tired of figuring what I want to do in my life at the moment. I'm sure many would have the idea that I have my whole life plan, well no actually. The only really goal that I set for myself is to fly overseas and once that is achieved, I'm quite lost. I would real like to continue my studies but I'm not sure at this stage of life I want to spent hours in lab doing research. I have an interest but I dont think I'm ready to commit yet.And I think I'm ready to let go of my dream to save the world from world hunger to something that I actually enjoy doing. And what do I enjoy doing? I'm not quite sure yet. I realized that everything I do in my life before was to please my parents because I love them so much. I dont know any other way to pay them back then to actually excel in my studies. But being 23 I think it is about time for me to create my own dream and achieved them. I hope they would understand and would be happy for me. Maybe in the end, I will realized again that I do want to save the world from world hunger. So I made the decision to work first for at least two years, gather some big money and then to continue studies. Hopefully by then I would be certain of what kind of research that I want to do.

I'm just feeling all so lost right now because I'm being offered two positions that I'm not sure I want to accept. In the interview of course I tried hard to prove I am capable of the job responsibilities; but once they offered me the job, I start asking yourself is this what I really want to start my career with?  A tutor at UM with the Department of Biomedical Engineering and a Researcher-Biology at a Japanese Agrochemical company. I'm choosing the latter. Since I am not sure of what kind of research I want to spent my whole life doing, I dont want to choose Biomedical Engineering just because UM is willing to waive all the tuition fee if I joined them as a tutor. Continuing studies is not like working. Working maybe you cant really be choosy especially your first job but to continue your studies especially at a Master/PHD level you have the right to choose what interest you MOST, no? Do you know how many moments I felt tensed up in completing my research at Penn State? It just required too much commitment. I survived Penn State for many reasons, but the most important one is that I have interest in my research and that make me work hard to complete it. And once you start your Master is not like you can quit just like that! So again studies can wait. I dont think I will ever loose interest to continue my studies at a higher level. Working seem a better option as for now.

The researcher position is in Senawang, so yeah. I need to move and be away from the family, Apai and friends :( I'm not sure why am I making a big deal out of this distance thing.  Out of nearly 600 people that applied for the position, I was the one who made it, why can't I just be grateful, right? Senawang je kot bukannya Miri! Maybe I'm not into the research that they are doing, pesticides. I always find that pesticides is actually an ironic thing. You invent this pesticides to kill harmful insects, you applied it, at first it does kill the insects but eventually the insects become stronger and the pesticides can no longer kill them and now the crop is facing an even bigger problem! But I believe, in working, ideally you should do what you like but most important you need to like what you do (like it or not) and give your best! I'm waiting for other offers too but Nadia reminded me that when we are looking for a job we must hold to this Malay saying 'Jangan sampai yang dikejar tak dapat, yang dikendong berciciran'.

If Agriculture is the way to go, MARDI could you like please call me for an interview before 3rd January? Better yet made me an offer by 3rd January! Maybe an offer from a pharmaceutical company will actually get me jumping? I still need to explore.

I have not made any solat isthikarah, but I do pray hard after solat so that Allah show me signs to accept the job offer in Senawang. And amazingly signs do show up in positive ways! I believe keberatan hati to accept this job offer is being away from Apai. He is definitely my other half. I love him maturely-lah tapi, x delah sampai if jodoh tak panjang hilang arah tujuan kan, but you know what I mean right? And the idea that I may be stuck here forever if I happen enjoy my work here, what would then happen to us? But then I met a few people who leave in Seremban and work KL, but they are single. Hurmm. It maybe quite early for some to think about marriage but certainly not me. But there is no urge to get married in the nearest time. It would just be wonderful to be able to come back to someone after a long tiring day, especially someone you love. If I have to choose to sacrifice love over career or career over love, certainly will choose love over career..or maybe the later? depends I guess on the situation.

Once I received the offer letter than I'll think more about this but at this moment it just feels good to let go of everything here, although I did not spill all of my concern, but it still feels good. I found that when Apai is unreachable, I'm quite lost. It's not that I dont want to share my worries with my friends here, but Apai knows me best, he make me see myself far beyond the things that I see. He is always so positive about everything but in a very logicly way.I guess it is true what was once told that, Looking straight into a forest, a man see a forest, but a girl see the individual trees. Even if a read a thousand article to motivate myself, Apai words will still have the best motivational words ever.

The truth is I'm just so heart broken right now for not accepting Papa offer to work in Kuantan under MPOB. It's on a research developing biofuel from sagu. I hope Papa understand :(
I may say today I want to do what I want to do but there is a high chance tomorrow I will change my mind to follow what my parents think is best for me. A win-win situation would definitely be me continuing study, all I need to do is tune myself back into research mode for a higher degree. Things would be easier if this science field could offer a high paying job without all those higher qualification you know.

I need Apai back to tell me everything is okay. Maybe I am overreacting.

In the mean time, I have fun going to BeST Programme everyday! Everyone is wonderful! I gain a lot of valuable insights from this programme. Not mainly through the courses taught but more from interactions with other participants.Since, I graduated overseas and 4 tahun ketinggalan zaman dengan perkembangan dunia biotechnology di Malaysia, it's good to have insight from those who actually graduated locally. Obviously they know more than I do lah kan. They shared their experience while studying, their practical training, their FYP, job hunting and their personal opinions about the field of biotechnology in Malaysia. Some offer their professor contacts and all, and I have a better view of how researches at universities are actually handle. And it made me think a lot about my future here in Malaysia.

If you think I have gain a lot of research experience from Penn State that is becuase I choose to do an independent research, if not besides lab experience I am nothing compare to local graduates. Diorang dahlah ade FYP, practical training lagi. They do have something like BIOTC 416 known as Biotechnology Commercialization with representative from Biotech Corp as judges! Jangan main-main. But I think in general, we are expose to more technical skills in different field of biotech but they are more expose to real life situation working in a lab but specific to their FYP and practical training while lacking some skills from other field of biotech. Both education system have their pros and cons I guess.

There's a lot that I would like to share about my new findings at BeST Programme and at interviews,  but I find it hard to actually write an informative post! It is just not the same as expressing what I am feeling. I think a CONVERSATION would be easier. Call me! :)

I'm glad I end this post on a happy note. When I feel life is hard, I look outside my bedroom window looking over Taman Desaminium and realize that there is more to life than JUST building a career and I  feel a bit relax and try to swallow everything slowly.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Short updates

Yo, this blog is starting to be fill with teenagers, thanks to my sisters yang blog hoping to this blog and left my blog URL on their stats.

Today, he will be leaving Bintulu for 2 weeks, sedih extra skit this time, not sure why.

Waiting for two interview results by 16 Dec.

BeST Programme is very rewarding, learn and will be learning very valuable stuffs. Siap bagi GMP cert lagi.

Eh I will be updating about job hunt soon k Nysa (I know you will reading this :)) but not this weekend, this weekend I will need to be in Terengganu for a family gathering.

Friday, November 12, 2010

First Visit... Klang. I left Klang with a very pleasant happy feeling of certainty about something.

 You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. 
Dr Suess
I just have to heart this quote because it is Dr Suess's! I have a small collection of Dr Suess books, masa kecil-kecil sruh mama beli. Dan masa kecil slalu bayangkan Dr Suess was Santa Claus as an author :D

And that was yesterday.

Friday, November 5, 2010


I no longer need to eat  chocolate or drink coffee on a daily basis to keep my day going.
Losing 2 major traits of myself. Owh gosh, what is happening?

Kesedaran untuk hidup sihat. Everything should be in moderation. Yo hidup PM! :)

Rukun Iman Ke 6: Beriman Kepada Hari Kiamat

This is a note shared by Izzarief on Facebook. I believe yang membuat note ni ialah seorang suadara bernama Muhammad Hafiz. I just thought I shared it here.And since I rarely share something that is religious-ly-like before. Eh tak pernah kot, maka this note is worth reading. I hope by reading this, terdetiklah di hati kita bertanya, bersediakah untuk kita menghadapi hari perhitungan? Sabrina is not so sure she is ready. 

Gambaran Hari Qiamat

✐ Selepas Malaikat Israfil meniup sangkakala (bentuknya seperti tanduk besar) yang memekakkan telinga, seluruh makhluk mati kecuali Izrail & beberapa malaikat yang lain. Selepas itu, Izrail pun mencabut nyawa malaikat yang tinggal dan akhirnya nyawanya sendiri.

✐ Selepas semua makhluk mati, Tuhan pun berfirman mafhumnya "Kepunyaan siapakah kerajaan hari ini?" Tiada siapa yang menjawab. Lalu Dia sendiri menjawab dengan keagunganNya "Kepunyaan Allah Yang Maha Esa lagi Maha Perkasa." Ini menunjukkan kebesaran & keagunganNya sebagai Tuhan yg Maha Kuasa lagi Maha Kekal Hidup, tidak mati.

✐ Selepas 40 tahun, Malaikat Israfil a.s. dihidupkan, seterusnya meniup sangkakala untuk kali ke-2, lantas seluruh makhluk hidup semula di atas bumi putih, berupa padang Mahsyar (umpama padang Arafah) yang rata tidak berbukit atau bulat seperti bumi.

✐ Sekelian manusia hidup melalui benih anak Adam yg disebut "Ajbuz Zanbi" yang berada di hujung tulang belakang mereka. Hiduplah manusia umpama anak pokok yang kembang membesar dari biji benih.

✐ Semua manusia dan jin dibangkitkan dalam keadaan telanjang dan hina. Mereka tidak rasa malu kerana pada ketika itu hati mereka sangat takut dan bimbang tentang nasib & masa depan yang akan mereka hadapi kelak.

✐ Lalu datanglah api yang berterbangan dengan bunyi seperti guruh yang menghalau manusia, jin dan binatang ke tempat perhimpunan besar. Bergeraklah mereka menggunakan tunggangan (bagi yang banyak amal), berjalan kaki (bagi yang kurang amalan) dan berjalan dengan muka (bagi yang banyak dosa). Ketika itu, ibu akan lupakan anak, suami akan lupakan isteri, setiap manusia sibuk memikirkan nasib mereka.

✐ Setelah semua makhluk dikumpulkan, matahari dan bulan dihapuskan cahayanya, lalu mereka tinggal dalam kegelapan tanpa cahaya. Berlakulah huru-hara yang amat dahsyat.

✐ Tiba-tiba langit yang tebal pecah dengan bunyi yang dahsyat, lalu turunlah malaikat sambil bertasbih kepada Allah SWT. Seluruh makhluk terkejut melihat saiz malaikat yang besar dan suaranya yang menakutkan.

✐ Kemudian matahari muncul semula dengan kepanasan yang berganda. Hingga dirasakan seakan-akan matahari berada sejengkal dari atas kepala mereka. Ulama berkata jika matahari naik di bumi seperti keadaannya naik dihari Kiamat nescaya seluruh bumi terbakar, bukit-bukau hancur dan sungai menjadi kering. Lalu mereka rasai kepanasan dan bermandikan peluh sehingga peluh mereka menjadi lautan. Timbul atau tenggelam mereka bergantung pada amalan masing-masing. Keadaan mereka berlanjutan sehingga 1000 tahun.

✐ Terdapat satu telaga kepunyaan Nabi Muhammad SAW bernama Al-Kausar yang mengandungi air yang hanya dapat diminum oleh orang mukmin sahaja. Orang bukan mukmin akan dihalau oleh malaikat yang menjaganya. Jika diminum airnya tidak akan haus selama-lamanya. Kolam ini berbentuk segi empat tepat sebesar satu bulan perjalanan. Bau air kolam ini lebih harum dari kasturi, warnanya lebih putih dari susu dan rasanya lebih sejuk dari embun. Ia mempunyai saluran yang mengalir dari syurga.

✐ Semua makhluk berada bawah cahaya matahari yang terik kecuali 7 golongan yang mendapat teduhan dari Arasy. Mereka ialah:

ⅰ- Pemimpin yang adil.

ⅱ- Orang muda yang taat kepada perintah Allah.

ⅲ- Lelaki yang terikat hatinya dengan masjid.

ⅳ- Dua orang yang bertemu kerana Allah dan berpisah kerana Allah.

ⅴ- Lelaki yang diajak oleh wanita berzina, tetapi dia menolak dengan berkata "Aku takut pada Allah".

ⅵ- Lelaki yg bersedekah dengan bersembunyi (tidak diketahui orang ramai).

ⅶ- Lelaki yang suka bersendirian mengingati Allah lalu mengalir air matanya kerana takutkan Allah.

✐ Oleh kerana tersangat lama menunggu di padang mahsyar, semua manusia tidak tahu apa melainkan mereka yang beriman, kemudian mereka terdengar suara "pergilah berjumpa dengan para Nabi". Maka mereka pun pergi mencari para Nabi. Pertama sekali kumpulan manusia ini berjumpa dengan Nabi Adam tetapi usaha mereka gagal kerana Nabi Adam a.s menyatakan beliau juga ada melakukan kesalahan dengan Allah SWT. Maka kumpulan besar itu kemudiannya berjumpa Nabi Nuh a.s., Nabi Ibrahim a.s., Nabi Musa a.s., Nabi Isa a.s. (semuanya memberikan sebab seperti Nabi Adam a.s.) dan akhirnya mereka berjumpa Rasullullah SAW. Jarak masa antara satu nabi dengan yang lain adalah 1000 tahun perjalanan.

✐ Lalu berdoalah baginda Nabi Muhammad SAW ke hadrat Allah SWT. Lalu diperkenankan doa baginda.

✐ Selepas itu, terdengar bunyi pukulan gendang yang kuat hingga menakutkan hati semua makhluk kerana mereka sangka azab akan turun. Lalu terbelah langit, turunlah arasy Tuhan yang dipikul oleh 8 orang malaikat yang sangat besar (besarnya sejarak perjalanan 20 ribu tahun) sambil bertasbih dengan suara yang amat kuat sehingga 'Arasy itu tiba dibumi.

✐ 'Arasy ialah jisim nurani yang amat besar berbentuk kubah (bumbung bulat) yang mempunyai 4 batang tiang yang sentiasa dipikul oleh 4 orang malaikat yang besar dan gagah. Dalam bahasa mudah ia seumpama istana yang mempunyai seribu bilik yang menempatkan jutaan malaikat di dalamnya. Ia dilingkungi embun yang menghijab cahayanya yang sangat kuat.

✐ Kursi iaitu jisim nurani yang terletak di hadapan Arasy yang dipikul oleh 4 orang malaikat yang sangat besar. Saiz kursi lebih kecil dari 'Arasy umpama cincin ditengah padang . Dalam bahasa mudah ia umpama singgahsana yang terletak dihadapan istana.

✐ Seluruh makhluk pun menundukkan kepala kerana takut. Lalu dimulakan timbangan amal. Ketika itu berterbanganlah kitab amalan masing-masing turun dari bawah Arasy menuju ke leher pemiliknya tanpa silap dan tergantunglah ia sehingga mereka dipanggil untuk dihisab. Kitab amalan ini telah ditulis oleh malaikat Hafazhah / Raqib & 'Atid / Kiraman Katibin.

✐ Manusia beratur dalam saf mengikut Nabi dan pemimpin masing- masing. Orang kafir & munafik beratur bersama pemimpin mereka yang zalim. Setiap pengikut ada tanda mereka tersendiri untuk dibezakan.

✐ Umat yang pertama kali dihisab adalah umat Nabi Muhammad SAW, dan amalan yang pertama kali dihisab adalah solat. Sedangkan hukum yang pertama kali diputuskan adalah perkara pertumpahan darah.

✐Apabila tiba giliran seseorang hendak dihisab amalannya, malaikat akan mencabut kitab mereka lalu diserahkan, lalu pemiliknya mengambil dengan tangan kanan bagi orang mukmin dan dengan tangan kiri jika orang bukan mukmin.

✐ Semua makhluk akan dihisab amalan mereka menggunakan satu Neraca Timbangan. Saiznya amat besar, mempunyai satu tiang yang mempunyai lidah dan 2 daun. Daun yang bercahaya untuk menimbang pahala dan yang gelap untuk menimbang dosa.

✐ Acara ini disaksikan oleh Nabi Muhammad SAW dan para imam 4 mazhab untuk menyaksikan pengikut masing-masing dihisab.

✐ Perkara pertama yang diminta ialah Islam. Jika dia bukan Islam, maka seluruh amalan baiknya tidak ditimbang bahkan amalan buruk tetap akan ditimbang.

✐ Ketika dihisab, mulut manusia akan dipateri, tangan akan berkata- kata, kaki akan menjadi saksi. Tiada dolak-dalih dan hujah tipuan. Semua akan di adili oleh Allah Ta'ala dengan Maha Bijaksana.

✐ Setelah amalan ditimbang, mahkamah Mahsyar dibuka kepada orang ramai untuk menuntut hak masing-masing dari makhluk yang sedang dibicara sehinggalah seluruh makhluk berpuas hati dan dibenarkannya menyeberangi titian sirat.

✐ Syafaat Nabi Muhammad SAW di akhirat :

ⅰ- Meringankan penderitaan makhluk di Padang Mahsyar dengan mempercepatkan hisab.

ⅱ- Memasukkan manusia ke dalam syurga tanpa hisab.

ⅲ- Mengeluarkan manusia yang mempunyai iman sebesar zarah dari neraka.

(Semua syafaat ini tertakluk kepada keizinan Allah SWT.)

✐ Para nabi dan rasul serta golongan khawas juga diberikan izin oleh Tuhan untuk memberi syafaat kepada para pengikut mereka. Mereka ini berjumlah 70 000. Setiap seorang dari mereka akan mensyafaatkan 70 000 orang yang lain.

✐ Setelah berjaya dihisab, manusia akan mula berjalan menuju syurga melintasi jambatan sirat. Siratul Mustaqim ialah jambatan (titian) yang terbentang dibawahnya neraka. Lebar jambatan ini adalah seperti sehelai rambut yang dibelah tujuh dan ia lebih tajam dari mata pedang. Bagi orang mukmin ia akan dilebarkan dan dimudahkan menyeberanginya.

✐ Fudhail bin Iyadh berkata perjalanan di Sirat memakan masa 15000 tahun. 5000 tahun menaik, 5000 tahun mendatar dan 5000 tahun menurun. Ada makhluk yang melintasinya seperti kilat, seperti angin, menunggang binatang korban dan berjalan kaki. Ada yang tidak dapat melepasinya disebabkan api neraka sentiasa menarik kaki mereka, lalu mereka jatuh ke dalamnya.

✐ Para malaikat berdiri di kanan dan kiri sirat mengawasi setiap makhluk yang lalu. Setiap 1000 orang yang meniti sirat, hanya seorang sahaja yang Berjaya melepasinya. 999 orang akan terjatuh ke dalam neraka.

Rujukan: Kitab Aqidatun Najin karangan Syeikh Zainal Abidin Muhammad Al- Fathani. Pustaka Nasional Singapura 2004.

☞ Jika sekiranya kalian ingin mengumpul saham akhirat, sampaikanlah ilmu ini kepada sahabat² yang lain. Sepertimana sabda Rasulullah SAW: ❝ Sampaikanlah pesananku walaupun satu ayat. ❞ Sesungguhnya apabila matinya seseorang anak Adam itu, hanya 3 perkara yang akan dibawanya bersama :

① Sedekah/amal jariahnya.

② Doa anak²nya yang soleh.

③ Ilmu yang bermanfaat yang disampaikannya kepada orang lain.

sumber: Amar Sufi

Cuak seyh.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010


It's more than just 'I'm lucky to have him..'...We are lucky to have each other :)

His 4th week away

See Friendship

So because I spent less time on Facebook nowdays or maybe I do spend sufficient time on Facebook to realize the changes made by Facebook, but because I can be very ignorant at times, I'm usually not the first one to notice anything lain on Facebook :D

So there's this new See Friendship thing, when I first knew what is what I was like 'Biar betik Facebook ni, semangat sangat nk mudahkan orang stalk orang lain tu kenapa?!'

But then after giving another minute to think about it,
'Owh well, Facebook is a LAMAN WEB SOCIAL, so what kind of privacy would you really expect right? If nak privacy then can FB message, chat, text, or email, no?'
Come to think of it, if we really wanted privacy for certain matters we put on Facebook, then we would have not put all those walls, photos and comments on Facebook in the first place, tak ke? Even if Facebook is getting more stalker-friendly, tapi if every Friends on Facebook is a friend, then I dont think they really want to stalk us that much, right? Even if they stalk pun, what difference will it make? They already knew everything. Even if they didn't knew everything, then salah diri sendrilah sape sruh put that thing on Facebook in the first place, x ke? It is just a loop yang akhirnya akan berakhir dengan persoalan "Kenapa post everything yg dipost on Facebook if  TAK NAK orang lain tahu, WHYYY?" Maybe because we never guess Facebook will turn out this way.
I dont know, I'm just confuse why people are expecting so much privacy from Facebook, it's Facebook kot.

We control our privacy, not Facebook, Facebook never said they will not do what they are doing right know. Be smart people, remember, anything you post on the net is NEVER 100% SAFE. We need to be cautious and again smartlah. Daripada cuba mengubah Facebook, maybe we should change our way of communicating on Facebook, who's with me?

This is just my thought after 2 minutes thinking about it. Maybe lama-lama fikir, I will also curse Facebook like everyone else. But as for now, I'll blame myself for trusting a laman web sosial with things that I wish was kept a little bit private, and not so expose.

And to those yang x de kerja, hit 'See Friendship' on every wall post on another person's page, really, get a life.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

The Only Exception

Some people may have thousands of friends, but I'm not one of those people. Maybe becuase I am a person that like to keep everything to myself and like I said earlier, I could really care less of what people do that I dont see the need to talk to people that much. I am certainly not shy, I'm just..I like to keep my life simple with just a friend or two. I'm okay with being alone with a book (although many of the books are read halfway, heh) and only having my cousins as friends. 

It may take a while for me to be a friend to another, I'm not sure why that is the case. I'm not sure why is it hard for me to offer friendship to others. Maybe I always have a hard time trusting others, and I rather be cheated by a boyfriend than being back stab by a close friend.

But when you're halfway around the globe from people you knew for sure to love you no matter what, the family of course, and with all the things you have to face being in a foreign land with typical teenager-turning-a-young-adult problems, saat-saat mencari who you really were, of course you need someone to turn too, and that is when I start to actually build friendship with the girls at Penn State.

Everyone is special in their own way to me and Zack and Egy are extra special. Penn State was more memorable becuase of them. I think they were usually the ones who knew the right words to say to make me feel better. We do see things differently sometimes but in a good way, they are just as crazy as I am but wait I think they are even more crazierlah but I appreciate that they never push me to do anything that makes me uncomfortable, and accept me just the way I am. It's amazing how I fit in with the two.

It's true that they were times that I choose to spent some time with Apai than with them, but never with no guilt, sometimes I cry knowing that I may have hurt their feelings (okay nangis), which mean something, becuase I do cry a lot watching dramas and movies but never for hurting someone else feeling becuase whenever I do that I usually felt that..that person deserve it, heh. But as far for Zack and Egy for all the times they were there for me, they dont deserve to get their feelings hurt by me, no they dont. Sorry :(

Everyone, have their own definition as what GOOD friends are,  I'm not sure what's mine, but I guess they two can be the definition :)

Dear Zack and Egy, you two may have other friends you consider top list as special but both are you are certainly on top of mine. Thank you for making me open up to actually trust FRIENDS, I never knew that I could.

Nah, a song for both of you, the word 'love' in the song should definitely be change to friendship, barulah touching skit weyh, ahahaha. Thank you for driving here to Seri Kembangan knowing that I need to home at 7, just so that we can all spend some time together since Egy got her first paycheck!!

Saturday, October 30, 2010


There is so much uncertainties right now, I wish I knew what I really want and just focus on that. Penat trying to do and trying to be all the possibilities. I think I know what I want but I'm just not truly certain about it. I'm repeating myself, but yeah uncertainties and possibilities. I just have to try everything so that I will have no regrets later.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Day One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

I only have a person or should I say an organization/company/whatever you call it, which I really want to say something to: PETRONAS

Yo PET, send him back alreadylah, he was suppose to return MONDAY.

Sometimes I do fell these 3 weeks are harder than those 3 months we were apart. I guess because I cant always reach him.

He is super busy, I hate him, I mean..I miss him.

Apai: Kejap eh I kena siapkan evening report
Bina:  Nak tanya a random question boleh? U tulis report u in BM ke English?
Apai: English, Petronas kan multinational company
Bina: Owh ok.

I dont know where I get the idea that Petronas employees write their report in BM, even I blog in ENGLISH, gosh Sabrina stop asking bimbo-ish random questions ok.

Membuka Aib Sendiri di Facebook

In general, my feeling about all the things that annoys people on Facebook or about the things people think someone ought to do or not to do on Facebook is..the hell with what people do on facebook man, nak wat quiz byk2 buatlah, nak PDA, PDAlah, nak letak gambar vain letaklah, nak brag about your life to others, braglah, as long as x menggangu ketenteraman diri then I'm fine. I use to care and felt annoyed, but annoyance can be erase if you just stop caring or totally ignore it. And I have finally choose to ignore it sebab like why should I care anyways, right? But to those who care and feel the need to blog, twit about it, go ahead I'm not judging :)

But I do have a slight problem with people putting up pictures of themselves that would make people talk about them, degrading them. Wall to wall can also bring up hot gossips but pictures are like PROVES and not just talk. I'm not an angel myself, tapi tak baik kita membuka aib diri sendiri.

Nabi s.a.w memberi ingatan :
Setiap umatku (boleh) diampunkan kecuali mereka yang mendedahkan (dosanya), ada di kalangan yang mendedahkan ini, melakukan suatu dosa di waktu malam, berpagi-pagi sedang Allah menutup keaiban dosa itu, namun tiba-tiba dia mendedahkan seraya berkata :" Wahai fulan, semalam aku lakukan itu dan ini.." maka terhapuslah tutupan tuhannya dan jadilah ia membuka (rahmat) Allah yang (sebelum ini) menutup keaibannya. - Riwayat Al-Bukhari dan Muslim

See kenapa kita nk tolak rahmat Allah yang telah menutupi aib kita by not just telling others but also posting pictures! Sedar-sedarlah wahai rakan, janganlah kita ni jahil sangat. Not only we should not put those kind of pictures on FB, we should have not done all those things in the first place pun! Marilah sama-sama kita memohon keamapunanNya.

Sabrina! Sila jangan jahil sangat, what's with all those picture rapat-rapat ngn Apai on Facebook?! Ish, ish, ish.

Dan Nabi bersabda jua: (Di akhirat kelak) Allah akan menghampiri seorang hambanya yang mukmin lalu melindunginya lalu berkata : "Adakah kamu tahu dosa kamu ini? Adakah kamu sedar dosa ini?" Lalu jawab lelaki itu: "Ya Wahai Tuhan.." dan sehingga dia mengakui dosanya dan merasakan dia akan binasa (dihukum), Allah berkata : "Aku telah menutupinya di dunia dahulu ( dari pengetahuan manusia), dan hari ini aku akan mengampunkannya." - Riwayat Al-Bukhari

Allah Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang. Jelas dari hadis di atas, dosa yang dilakukan dan tidak didedahkan berpeluang mendapat belas kasihan Allah di akhirat untuk diampuni. Namun bagi mereka yang telah lebih dahulu berbangga bercerita, mengiklan, promosi dan sebagainya sejak di dunia lagi, dibimbangi tidak cukup layak mendapat belas kasihan dan rahmat Allah serta pengampunannya. (

Ini peringtan untuk semua, terutama untuk diri sendiri. Sila jangan jahil sangat.

A little bit of this and that

If you were a reader of my blog before, you would know that:
  •  I normally blog dwi-bahasa in the same post
  • I write like I talk
  • I usually post about happy things and rarely about things that break my heart because when I'm feeling down is either I will go gemukkan diri sendri with ice-cream or chocolates, mengaji or on the phone screaming about the whole thing to one of my unfortunate friends, heh.
  • And owh I dont refer to my bf as 'My bf....' or other cute names some people may have for their significant other, it is usually just Apai :)
  • I am very straight forward about things I usually post, very rare I am being vague about something or ever being poetic.
So why sofhi-the-elephant. I has nothing to do with who gave it to me ok, BTUL, ok maybe slightly matters kot. But it is just a symbol of appreciation to my one and only NON-LIVING FRIEND! For he is the one who was there for me ALWAYS. It's a long story I tell you. Anyways, Sofhi the Elephant, Sabrina loves you!

And you said you were mature Sabrina, are you sure?!

Back again ;)

Hello peeps,

Welcome back! So much of having Keeping Things Posted as a blog title kan, nothing has been posted for what 6 months?!and only 6 posts from 2010?!

But I did have fun re-reading my whole blog again, and there were some posts that I had a hard time remembering what actually happened! I do think I am very sincere in my writing, ecece..and I think Penn State may have been a little bit cruel in the beginning (which none of the stories are in this blog, I started blogging only in 2008 while I start school in 2006) but in the end all I know that I was surrounded by love, love and more love. I really dont want to talk about Penn State anymore, some of the post were of sweet memories that to walk through it again can cause a pain in the heart! Ok OVER. Anyways, let the memories be kept between us and in the previous posts, jangan pergi baca-baca balik eh :p Say hello to posts of the future! Well maybe a few posts of the past too :)

I know you know me, but a quick introduction wont hurt.And there's always strangers walking around you there strangers :)

1) I've graduated yeay! You should know by now where I graduated from, if not you're lumpy.
2) I'm still unemployed, but not at the point of stressing out about it. Maybe after 3 months unemployed then I'll stress out.
3) I'm living with my family again, and I'm loving it.
4) I'm taken but this very I-have-no-adjective-to-describe-him type of guy because he IS special, well EVERYONE IS SPECIAL if you ask me, but he is not ordinary and not everyone is not ordinary if you know what I mean.Yes, my sentences are always like 'what are you trying to say there perempuan?'
5) Before I went to college, I only have 2 persons in this whole entire world that I would really call bestfriends but now I think I have a few more.
6) I truly believe I am a matured young lady now. Well, maybe not TRULY believe :D but I do believe that I am.
7) I still have a slanting smile and I do think I'm still such a typo-er, so do excuse all those annoying grammatical errors or spelling mistakes ok people!
8) I am Miss Perfectionist, SOMETIMES. Most of the time I'm very laid back and like 'what the heck man?!'..ape-ape sajelah type of person.

There, I've touch a little bit about school, work, family, love, friends and myself, which now will be use as labels on this blog.

I'll make sure I'll label my post properly now, so that if I were to past away, people that miss me will just have to click on the labels to re-read all the post that they think they are label on! Yes people we do have to remind ourselves about death.
Or for a much sweeter excuse, nanti senanglah for my future children especially my future daughters to stalk the past of their own mother ;)

OMG so much babbling.

Eh dont go click Older Posts plak k, we need to move forward! :D

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Monday, February 1, 2010

The Replacements

Movies with footballs..Remember the Titans, We are Marshall..are entertaining and inspiring. I think I miss watching football games.

No, I didn't watch any of the playoffs but let's Super Bowl next weekend.

Friday, January 29, 2010


Yes! Nak amek gambar banyak-banyak nanti, senior year to-do list :)

Looking forward to take pictures in my graduation gown at the Lion Shrine!Of course with the whole batch of Class 2010. How we evolved and matured in our own ways, despite the ups and down we may have faced,I heart them dearly, the girlfriends.

Freshmen Year 2006: Saling kenal-mengenali

Sophomore Year 2007: Year of the Drama Queens

Junior Year 2008: Rekindled, happily ever after
Senior year 2009 (incomplete, as some were celebrating raya in D.C, some in SC )

The incomplete last picture shows that after 4 years, everyone already has different priorities but that doesn't mean we're growing apart, we're just becoming more of an individual than a group, which is good I think. And now we are all expecting something special this July *a big fat grin*, something or should I say someone very special *a big fat grin again*, pasti ikatan menjadi lebih rapat :)

Where are the boys? Another different story :)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Dari Hatinya yang Ikhlas

Dan kau punya seorang kawan,

Tinggi ilmu agamanya,

Suka kau berkawan dengannya kerna tau andai kau tersalah langkah, akan ade dia untuk pimpini kau kembali ke jalan sepatutnya, itulah yang ko harapkan,

Dan kau punya seorang kawan,

Tinggi ilmu agamanya,

Marah andai ade yang berkata buruk tentang dirinya, kerna kau yakin tiada ape yang dia berpegang teguh melainkan perintahNya dan pasti sebaik mungkin dia cuba mejauhi laranganNya,

Dan satu hari kau lalai, lalai dalam keindahan dunia, dan kau menanti tibanya kawan itu untuk selamatkan kau

Tapi di manakah die?

Dia membenci di dalam hati, tidak berani katanya menegur di hadapan, tetapi bila berani berkata, khalayak ramai yang die pilih,

Tiada niat katanya untuk tuju kepada sesape,

Tapi kerna telah lama berkawan, kau mengharapkan die memahami, pastilah kau terasa,

Telah die berbincang dengan orang tertentu katanya,

Tapi kerna telah lama berkawan, tertanya kenapa bukan dengan kau yang dia berbincang,

Bila berbincang,

Katanya dia rela dibenci rakan tapi bukan oleh Nya

Benarlah anggapan kau selama ini, tiada ape yang dia berpegang teguh melainkan perintahNya dan pasti sebaik mungkin dia cuba mejauhi laranganNya,

Tapi kerna telah lama berkawan, kau tertanya tidak bolehkah due-due dielakan? Elak daripada dibenciNya dan rakan-rakan? Adakah itu cara terbaik yang die ada untuk menasihati diri ko kawannya,

Tapi tidaklah kau bencinya, cuma terasa, kerna telah lama berkawan.

Janji Allah itu pasti katanya lagi, bala datang bukan kepada yang melakukan sahaja tapi satu masyarakat semua tambahnya

Dan terasa diri sangat hina, membawa bala, dari seorang kawan yang berkata, benar diri hina

Tapi kerana telah lama berkawan, mungkin kata yang lebih lembut boleh dikata

Tidak kau fahami kenapa die tidak memahami bukan katanya yang tidak diterima, cuma caranya sahaja

cuma caranya sahaja, kerana tiada ape yang die kata tidak benar

Sedih, bukan kerana terasa diri dimalukan, sedih kerna dimalukan kawan sendri.

Biarlah malu sekarang tapi bukan di akhirat sambungnya

Tapi kerna telah lama berkawan, ko mengharapkan seorang kawan yang menasihati bukannya seorang yang asing atau ketua

Kalo tak nak orang berkata, janganlah buat

Tapi tak kau sangka, die yang membuka pluang kepada orang lain bersangka buruk terhadap diri kau, die yang selama ni kau anggap kawan

Mungkin terlalu tinggi kau sanjunginya selama ni, mungkin sebab itulah hati kau terasa amat sedih.

Mungkin baginya kau bukanlah juga sesiapa untuk dijaga hatinya.

Usahlah kau fikirkannya lagi, terimalah sahaja katanya dan lupakanlah caranya. Terimalah die berniat baik menasihati diri kau kawannya. Berterima kasihlah sahaja kerana die berjaya menyedarkan kau. Terimalah seperti kau dia juga tidak sempurna dan terimalah dia lebih baik dia lebih mengetahui dari diri kau.

Dan kau berkata,

Walaupun sukar akan ku cuba. Tiada ape lagi yang boleh ku katakan bila melibatkan agama. Cuma ku harapkan kerana Islam itu indah, indahlah juga cara dalam menasihati kerana itu pasti itu lebih baik dari berkasar dan melahirkan rasa benci.

Dari Nya, keampunan yang ku harapkan..

“Ya Allah, ampunilah segala dosaku. Tetapkanlah imanku, bimbingilah aku kerana sesungguhnya aku hambaMu yang amatlah lemah lagi hina..“

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


With all my heart, I love you.
And people still ask, how do you know that? How do you know you love someone? Cliche but yes, you'll just know it.

I knowww, this blog is becoming more boring isn't it? :)