Monday, March 28, 2011


Yo budak-budak yang grad local pastu kecoh nak cakap 'Eleh budak-budak oversea, balik-balik pun susah nak dapat kerja jugakkkk..'

Well it is not truly our faults, like seriously, if Malaysianya biotech tak se-up kt US and cant offer us jobs, nak wat camneee..well dapat kerja or tak, our undergrad years oversea I must say must have been superbly awesome than if we had continue yeah since kita sama-sama tak dapat kerja sekarang, tapi at least 4 tahun aku sebelum ni menikmati kehidupan di luar negara, ko ade merase?..aku dah pernah naik second tallest roller-coaster in the world, ko pernah? But then again, 'superbly awesome' is very subjective.

This is an over-reaction post ditujukan kepada semua yang over-obsessed with those who grad oversea yang susah mencari pekerjaan. I can't hold my anger any longer that I feel like if I dont let it go here, most likely I will strangle that person and scream everything that I said above (and more) in that person's face the next time we meet! ahahah. Urghhh, annoying btul. I dont think most of us went there with the hope to easily secure a job after graduation (yes we are all aware with the employment rate in Malaysia especially in our field), our hopes was definitely to use every opportunity that we have to enjoyyyyyy! (and in the mean time of course belajar bersungguh-sungguh, nama pun sponsored student).

Now that I am continuing my studies locally, I can see the pros and cons of doing a bachelor's degree oversea and locally, which I really dont want to discuss it here, I'm sure everyone is aware of what that are. Only those who are too proud to grad oversea or locally, cannot see the benefit of the other.

And about dapat kerja, tak dapat kerja ni, grad oversea or locally, rilex sudah weyh, rezeki Allah yang tentukan.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Never be limited by other people's limited imaginations

Mae Jemison is who I google when I feel like I need a living proof of someone who had actually achieved her dream and more than that. Read, HER.
Is easy to relate to her becuase when I was young I was so sure that I wanted to be an astronaut and worked for NASA! Years after I was so sure that I wanted to be a 'Plant Scientist' and save the world from world hunger. But the problem is, when I started learning Physics, I cant relate myself to it! I had a though time to understand all the theories in Physics, Physics theories always make me go 'huh?'. So yeah, I totally dropped the idea of being an astronaut and focus on the earlier hope. But I still find space exploration as interesting. I wish I was already born and was 6 years old in 1969 to witness and understand the significance of one of the awesome-est moment ever in human history, The First Person on the Moon. To wish that I was Neil Armstrong himself, would be a little too much wouldn't it? ;)

Now that I'm continuing my studies in the field of Plant Pathology focusing on nematode, I realize that I dont quite have what it takes to be a researcher! Ahahaha. Because I'm super paranoid! Even EtBr scares the hell out of me, parasites even more!I seriously thought I have what it takes to be anything that I wanted to be, but once I am actually doing it for real and not just imagining everything in my head, the reality hits, and reality is never better than expectations! ahaha.  I cant imagine me being a Virologist or an Astronaut, the other two that I wish to be. If I was to be an astronaut, I think that there will be a big chance that I may not board the spaceship when the time comes, I'm not really a risk taker. I'm not sure how I survived Cedar Point and riding every single ride! ahaha. But Cedar Point was a great trip :)

       A person is missing! Of course he is the one who is taking the pic and saying OMG in the video below ;)

Our video riding Top Thrill Dragster

I'm working on being not too paranoid with the nematodes, it is plant parasite anyways! Just like I convinced myself that I will not fall out from the roller coaster! Ahahah.Gosh Sabrina stop panicking. And just like the roller coaster, I had lots of support from friends on the spot and friends far away! Me and roller coaster, it is a funny thing, really. So yeah dear friends, lend me your shoulder to cry on when things get rough okayyy. Motivate me, don't let me quit.

So yeah, Mae Jemison is who I google when I feel like I need a living proof of someone who had actually achieved her dream and more than that.

Never be limited by other people's limited imaginations...If you adopt their attitudes, then the possibility won't exist because you'll have already shut it out ... You can hear other people's wisdom, but you've got to re-evaluate the world for yourself. 
Mea Jemison

Amazingly, a week has past since I drafted this post and I'm actually more motivated than ever to continue my studies. So yeah, self-confidence shoot up high after letting out all the insecurities here.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Down, down with the Crown

Tunisia, Egypt, Bahrain, Libya, and Yemen.

Their youth revolutionaries are truly inspiring. I know this is quite old news, but I would like to share it with my fellow readers, stumbled upon it as I was reading a friend's blog.

Subtitled Video of Wael Ghonim's Emotional TV interview (part 5 got me into tears, but hey I cry to a lot of things)

Terdetik di hati bertanya 'Sebagai belia negara, apa yang telah aku sumbangkan kepada negara, tidak pun apa yang telah aku sumbangkan kepada masyarakat sekitarku?'  Nothing really.

Kerajaan hantar luar negara, 
  • asyik merungut elaun tak cukup. Tak sedar diberi peluang belajar luar negara, dibelanjakan lebih setengah juta ringgit (cukup untuk beli sequencer satu) dalam masa 5 tahun, aku sepaptutnya bersyukur.  Ape yang tak cukupnya shopping, travel segala bagai boleh plak.
  • status asyik nak homesick je, rindu kekasih hatilah, meyumpah seranah subject susahlah (yang last ni aku tak pernah buatlah, sebab ilmu, tak baik menghinanya)
  • semua keputusan sponsor buat semua tak betul, ahahaha, teruk betul, tapi kadang-kadang memang macam tu :D
  • tapi sampai bab belajar aku taklah sepenuhnya mengabaikannya
Jika dibenarkan putar waktu, pasti ingin menyumbangkan lebih sebagai duta kecil Malaysia di luar negara. Kepada mereka yang telah menjalani hidup di perantauan dengan jayanya dan penuh dengan aktiviti-aktibiti suka rela, mewakili universiti dalam berbagai-bagai program sambil mengharumkan nama Malaysia, tahniah!

I wish my four years at the States was more like that

A classic:
Ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country. 
John. F. Kennedy

Memaafkan dan berlapang dada

I just realized that the friend that I may have hurt the most was the friend that had never made me question her friendship or has been the least selfish-ish friend ever.

I did try to forget a lot of things that made me feel, not betrayed, just 'how could you..?' but in a sense that is acceptable, you know, things that if those who were not in our shoe would just say, 'rilex ah' but those things also made you look at that person in a totally different way? (Wow that is long for a description), but those things just keep popping into my mind. I've forgive really, and I do realize that no one is perfect including me, but I guess I'm just normal, and a scar will always remain a scar, ke Maderma REALLY works?

"Dan hendaklah mereka memaafkan dan berlapang dada. Apakah kamu tidak ingin bahwa Allah mengampunimu?" (an-Nur : 21)

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Iya, hidup hanya sekali

To those who chose to have fun, in disgusting ways , and then selamba je cakap 'Hidup hanya sekali je babe, kenalah enjoyyyyy'

Well, yes dear, you live only once. Iya, hidup memang sekali je. So, you may want to live it the right way that one time you live. Why? Because you dont know when you'll die! Kalo mati sebelum sempat bertaubat, camne? Yakinkah kita amalam kita mencukupi untuk bau syurga sekiranya kita mati sesaat selepas ini? Yakinkah Nabi Muhammad s.a.w akan memberikan syafaatnya kepada kita kelak? Anyways, I do believe cara hidup Islam itulah paling indah, I have a perfect example of someone and I'm glad that we crossed path. Have you even tried to live your life as beautiful as the Islamic teachings to even say Islam way of life is boring? Hurmm.

Sekiranya merasakan rela mengorbankan diri sendiri untuk berada di nereka diseksa beribu tahunnya demi menikmati nikmat dunia yang sementara ini,*sigh* I wont say 'silakan'.

Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang kufur ingkar kepada ayat-ayat keterangan Kami, Kami akan membakar mereka dalam api Neraka. Tiap-tiap kali kulit mereka masak hangus, Kami gantikan untuk mereka kulit yang lain supaya mereka dapat merasa azab sengsara itu dan (ingatlah) sesungguhnya Allah adalah Maha Kuasa, lagi Maha Bijaksana.
An Nisa-56
Sanggup ke?

And about this hidayah matter. People would say, 'Owh belum dapat hidayah lagi'. I think you may received the hidayah but you just dont want to accept it. I know, becuase Allah has open up my heart a few times to completely cover my aurat, I can feel that my heart was touched to do it, it is just me that seems reluctant to embrace it, pushing it away. Godaan fesyen semasa, demmit.Harus meningkat tahap keimanan.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

127 hours

So after the so much status on FB of dear friends recommending 127 hours and also after James Franco won Best Actor at the Academy Awards, finally watched 127 hours yesterday! I'm bad at reviewing movies, so I wont but I do want to share what I loser I was becuase I totally close my eyes during the most crucial part ever of the movie - the stomach-turning gruesome surreal scene of Aron Ralston' effort in cutting his hand off!! And I regret that I had. Will be waiting for the DVD rip to watch the movie again.

I miss hiking, I miss nature.

People are like stained glass windows: they sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light within.
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross - Kubler-Ross model, 5 stages of grief.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Long story make short

Wow it has been a while since I updated anything here. Anyways, I've resigned from my job to further my studies at UM. So from an RO, I'm now an RA, hopefully in 5 years time i'll be done with my PhD and settle down.
Common question people would ask is, 'Kenapa tak sambung belajar oversea?'. I would usually just say 'Owh I dont think I want to be thousand miles away from my bf'. Although the truth is, malas weyh nak study GRE, cari supervisor semua tu, or write up a proposal semua tu kan. If admission is as easy as undergrad's, then oklah. I dont mind studying GRE actually, to contact a supervisor pun, contact through email pun kannn, just try email-ing EVERYONE :D To come up with a research topic and write up a proposal, okay that may take me monthssss, ahaha. But in the end, 'nak seribu daya, tak nak seribu dalih.'
I guess this grace period of being a RA, works great with my ke-blur-an dalam mengapplykan diri as a grad student. Currently, I disuap-suap with all my research materials for my proposal, making things a little bit simpler. Since I'm jumping from tissue culture to proteomics, I AM a little bit loss. Hopefully in this 6 months time, I'll be registered as a student, co-write a paper in a journal, to fulfill the requirement of my future scholar (I hope), if not terpaksalah cari penaja baru, yang kurang sikit permintaan KPI dia, maka hidup pun akan kurang stress, tapi kurang productive jugaklah maknanya.

6 months that is all the time I have. I really cant change my habit of procrastinating though.

After giving a long thought, I've decided if I want to spent my life doing research than why must I wait to obtain a higher degree. Time is not a luxury I can waste. Wait, did I just not said I really cant change my habit of procrastinating though?!

I really do envy those who know what they want in life and are very motivated to achieve them. I should learn a thing or two from them.I should have focus and applied grad school during my final year! I'm just glad that my final CGPA met the cut off to pursue my PhD straight away, tapi tulah I need to co-write a paper dulu.

There is a strong part of me that says I really want to be an event planner - be it a symposium ke, wedding ke, exhibition ke, anything that involves planning an event that does not really have to be beneficial but definitely not morally destructivelah tapi ..high tea for the PM ke :)

Owh well, one can dream.