LDR Confession

Long distance relationship is really not that hard to get through. All I have to do is remind myself that I may love him but he has no obligation what so ever to make me not feel the distance, I cant expect too much from him as he cant expect too much of me either. So if I do feel like Apai is not doing much while he is away, I will just say 'owh well', stop thinking about it and just let the relationship flow as it wants to. Too many example of colleagues and families that are doing long distance marriage, too many that I feel embarrassed/ashamed to constantly saying out loud I miss a man that is just a boyfriend, while others are very excepting that they need to be apart from their husband for various reasons, inspiring. Sometimes I do question myself as to why do we need to be in a relationship when we would be absolutely okay with just being friends and then get married if we wanted to.

Being the youngest in the group, I learn a lot from my colleagues that have went through my age and dilemma. I see life a little bit different, reality scares me even more now, but in a good way ;)

Confession of a first time 5km run finisher

Being able to finish a run as far as 5 km is quite an accomplishment for me, because I'm no runner or jogger. I have a gym membership at Penn State which where I only went to the the gym once! And I cant even sprint! hehe. 

I only join the run because the manager of Aranda's 5km run team is one of my closest colleagues. He was so confident I could finish the run because I was able to survive a 2 hour intensive futsal training. Yes I did survive, but the next day I was shaking! ahaha. Because I already started on my so-called diet for that week, then I didn't eat before or after the game with the hope that I can get rid of those extra fat faster. But with all the sweating, I loose too much electrolytes and the running expert deduced that that may be the reason as to why my hand was shaking. He recommended bananas and gatorade, and they worked! :) But it was all worth it, we won first place for futsal ;)

Aranda's Women Futsal team. Johan!

With the Veteran's team. Also Johan. Men's tempat ke-3, so tak boleh masuk gambar, hehe

Anyways, back to the run. It wasn't a fun run like most 5 km run are known as, because I was actually competing to finish top 5 to score some points for Aranda. I knew I needed to place but I didn't train that much for the run, I only jog the track once. I was praying that there will be some stamina left from futsal during the day of the run, hehe.  

Despite having supports from friends before the race, there was only me to motivate myself during the run.  I constantly tell myself "do not give up, do not give up, do not give up..keep on running!" And I wasn't running for anyone less but for myself, I needed to prove to myself that I can do it becuase I knew I can do it. It was all me, myself and I moment. Everyone was quite impress that I actually place, since I skip training and when I do train (once) I was the first one to walk and continue walking, heh. But that was not because I wans't able to run but I was just giving up too easily. Yesterday I really surprise myself on how good I am in motivating and pushing myself. 

I felt all brand new after the run, I was all happy, very very happy :) I FINISHED A 5KM RUN AND WAS PLACE AT FORTH!! Who would have expected, I knew I didn't. Even if I won because other runners were not actual runners or something, that's ok because I really really felt that I gave my all for the run :) I was able to give my all at something that I didn't enjoy that much with motivation from myself,yeay me.

After finishing the run, I puke! ahahaha. Felt like the whole world was going round and round..the manager asked me to take a walk, but I just sat down and felt much more better. Then I got I warning from the manager to train before a run especially when I rarely run. And I told him I might not want to enter another run (was still feeling like puking at that moment) and  he was like noooo you must stay in the team and train..haha, very encouraging manager. I didnt knew what my times was, but who cares I just wanted to finish the run and score some points for my team, and I did!

My confession is: I enjoyed my first competing run (despite telling others that I dont want to run again, I MAY actually want to continue running hehe) I learn of self motivation and of to never give up easily :)

Aranda's 5 km run team with the Director, very supportive and sporting.

4th Place W under 30, 1st Place M under 40, 1st place W under 30.  All are new research officers of BT.

I think I gain a few kgs since I started working at this research institution, free food/cheap food are abundant here. Takut nak naik scale.